what's it all for?

Most of my life Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself, trying to become smaller, Quieter, less sensitive, less opinionated, less needy, less me. Because I didn't want to be a burden. I didn't want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me, I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted so much for years. I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years I suffered. But I'm tired of suffering and I'm done shrinking! It's not my job to change who I am in order to be one someone else's idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because their people think I am, but because I EXIST! and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter, my feelings matter, my voice matters and with or without anyone's permission or approval I will continue to be who I am and speak the truth even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable, even if they choose to le

OK so I went through my google photo and shoebox photos and found copies of text's from Mia's father that were extremely nasty, unfounded and alcohol affected every day.  Once mia came along that was it if he did fuck it up again,see ya fucker. He did it almost straight away. I remember the emotion of it then and still do now because I read utter lies about the type of person I was. People believe the rubbish let them not one of the chatterbox shit cunts was with me then and not one is here now. If people want to ask about my private life ask me, spineless is all those types are 

No matter how far you have travelled in the wrong direction, you can always turn around!   This is raw, real and necessary. This is the kind of shit you need to do when it's time to dump toxic energy that has been swimming around inside you for far too long. I know we never talk about the pain and that's ok. We don't need to. There's no point in rehashing all the shit that happened or what YOU did. How I felt then is very different from how I feel now.

Hi, Check out my Complete Numerology result below. Your Name Initials N - Your extroverted nature wins you new friends. E - Ingenuity is your strength. W - You are gregarious and have many friends. You can also get your Complete Numerology Profile with this totally free Android app: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.internetdesignzone.numerology

Hi, Check out my Complete Numerology result below. Your Hidden Talents You are organized and solid. People see you as the rock on which they can lean. You have the skill to make order out of chaos and your biggest skills are the most practical. You are wise and calm and a gentle soul. You are a great stabilizer, and your greatest goal in life is to make a happy environment for those around you. You can also get your Complete Numerology Profile with this totally free Android app: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.internetdesignzone.numerology

Ruling Number 5 - The planet Mercury governs this number and those born under it are shrewd, mentally alert, industrious, diplomatic, intuitive and have sharp business acumen and a scientific temper. You are naturally attracted to people born between September 21 and October 20, between January 21 and February 20. You also have an affinity for those governed by the numbers 1, 5, 7 and 8. Number 5 is associated with business so you should enjoy great material success. You are shrewd and industrious and you should be able to build up a successful career for yourself. You are active and quick and agile, both physically and mentally. You are a good orator and are able to express yourself eloquently. You are self-motivated and have the ability to take your plans to their logical conclusion. You are deeply entrenched in family life and will cherish your children. Everything you do is characterised by speed, efficiency and determination. You like travelling and love change all the time. Yo