what's it all for?

The need to be nasty has never sat within me very well and I make every effort to ensure that people cannot put me in a postion that could essentially change my life again, and I would assume, something I rarely do, that the change would be for the worst, usually it is. All I've craved since returning is to feel safe and loved which shouldn't be too much to ask of my family and friends but again I assumed and that ensured I got fucked again. Peace and happiness are emotions just like rage and hatred neither ever lasts emotions are forever changing  

It's official we are homeless and have no where to go. All these years I've never thought about helping other people its just been natural to me. If i see someone that isn't having the best time and I'm able to help than without thinking that's what i do help. Do i expect anything in return? NEVER. If anything i would think that you become my friend and if one day i needed you IE to phone up and talk to, that i would be blessed to have you to turn to. I would give my friends anything. I have given my friends everything i have, a place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear. I've given them my time and energy, they have had a 100% of me when they have needed it. Never expecting anything in return.  Throughout the years I've called upon my friends a handful of times and more times than i care to remember I've gone unanswered or been given the i wish i could help but i cant. I have always thought that my problems have no answer no fix there for I've

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I have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), Chronic depression, insomnia and acute anxiety. I hope to help those who are misunderstood like myself.

5th February 2014 13 years is how long my best friend and I were a formidable duo. Boyfriend's were not enthused with our double trouble tag by locals at any hotel or drinking establishment. We have had ups and downs, fights some more serious than others, however the one that has occurred in the last few days has brought about the end of my closest friend since Vej died in 2003. Moo is a feisty ranger fire box. We knew of each other through high school but our unbreakable friendship wasn't forged until we met through a very quiet poppet whilst out at one of many locals, this night we were at freaky peaky. Stage one back in the day. Moo was rotten drunk  for her 18th birthday but I had a cure to bring her back and continue party central. I took her to my best buddy's house. Henrey loved moo immediately. I introduced her to chasing the dragon with a pure form of ice, which real name is shabu. Before long she was back to normal and the party continued we ended up at Cronu